Scorpio. Holding in and letting go.

 Scorpio is the other side of Taurus.

Taurus rules over the throat, vocal chords and neck. In this Venus ruled sign, we add substance to the initial  impulse born in Aries.

When our body does Taurus, adding substance is eating. When our wallet does Taurus, adding substance is earning money. When our sense of self worth does Taurus, we take in compliments…  There is always guaranteed substantial growth for your capital with bull energy.

The opposite of input is output. We are tubes. On one end we eat and drink, on the other we piss and shit. This reality is hilarious. (How old is your inner child?)  Even if we think we have outgrown pee and poo times, we have strong emotional roots in this mud…

 

It’s worth noticing that following the feminine signs is a journey through the digestive track:

After Taurus, the next Yin sign, Cancer, rules over the stomach, then comes Virgo and the intestines…  The glyph of Virgo looks like meandering bowels.

Then Scorpio happens. It is ruled by Mars and we push things out. The glyph looks like Virgo’s with a different ending.

If you’re an ecologist and very fond of the wonderful recycling cycles of mother nature, you won’t be shocked if I tell you that our corpse is somehow the last of our excrements. It is substance that no longer serves us. We leave it  behind as a gift to earth, it will become humus, feed plants… one day the nutrients will find their way back into other people’s plates with renewed vitality. However, for the dying ones and their loved ones, it feels like a big loss.

 

As for ourselves, we will find our way to the other side of the famous veil… Death is a fascinating reality for those born with Scorpio emphasis.

On our journey through the feminine signs, after Scorpio, only the bones, ruled by Capricorn, will defiantly resist decomposition. Archaeologists in a distant future may unearth them and call us Lucy.

Ultimate dissolution and return to spiritual unity are symbolized by the two fish swimming in opposite directions and next, we will be re-incarnating in Taurus.

So Scorpio rules over death.  There are many deaths, the physical one being a symbol for many other deaths which all consist of “leaving behind”.

It’s not always easy. We often have to grieve, like this little girl I knew. She wanted a new haircut.  She really wanted it. It would make her so pretty! This little princess had beautiful long hair. After it was cut, she looked into the mirror and burst out in tears…

There is no change without loss, loss is inevitable, nothing is permanent. However the tears of a little  girl in front of the mirror are infinitely respectable, and ours are futile on the way to the graveyard….

Taurus is gain, Scorpio is loss. It is not possible to refrain from dying. Life passes through us like a river. We assimilate lessons, digest experiences and release what needs to be, spontaneously or at times with the help of a good shaman-therapist-exorcist. We need to get things out. However, we can’t do it anyhow.

As children we learned to control these things getting out of our bodies. When we were two year old, we found out how to keep the stuff inside, under our control, for a certain amount of time, and to  let it out only at the right place, that is on the pot.

Meanwhile we also learned to say “no”. We were terrible twos. That’s what being anal is about: we were experimenting with power. No I won’t let my poo escape now. No I won’t eat my soup. No I won’t submit to your law. No I won’t tell you where the rebels are hiding. My power. Fuck off.

 

 

Scorpio is ruled by Mars, the warrior, and it’s a feminine sign. In Masculine Aries, Mars is projecting its aggressive and assertive fire from inside out. In Feminine Watery Scorpio, the warrior is on the sensitive receiving end, enduring and keeping it all inside: the fear, the pain, the desire to fall onto the ground and cry like a baby, the terror and the rage, the urge to shit one’s pants…

The warrior is keeping all his feelings inside. He looks impassible like Clint Eastwood chewing a cigar under the sun of a spaghetti.

In a more peace and love fashion Scorpio energy pushed to the extreme becomes Jesus Christ on the cross, tortured to death and still speaking with fixed determination the same words of love and forgiveness he did when he could breathe freely.

Less glorious but essentially similar experiences are our lot. We are nailed on the cross of matter. Fears, passions, desires and frustrations, shame, guilt, rage, dark feelings test our souls. Holding in or letting go? We are a battlefield. Demons and angels fight for the throne. (t’s symbolic language).

Demons are instant gratification monkeys. If they are hurt they want to hurt. If they are scared they want to kill. If they feel frustrated they want revenge. If they feel ashamed or guilty, they want scapegoats to make them feel how they feel. Expect bullies, inquisitions and holocausts.

Wise angels don’t deny the need for releasing, as the suffering is real, but it has to happen with consciousness, at the right place and time, without causing harm. Becoming able to cry is a way.

Scorpio is this inner battle. When demons win, the outcome is dirty. When angels surround the throne, peace reigns and it smells like heaven.

There is no victory without deep transformation. There is death and rebirth in the process.

Male sexuality also has to develop the strength of holding in  and the power to letting go at the right moment. Premature ejaculation is a failure in controlling excitation. Erectile dysfunction is the counterpart: an erection, paradoxically, happens when some muscles relax. If they don’t, the thing remains a bit too soft to please. The causes may be physical but they are often emotional, and have, without the shadow of a doubt, great emotional impact. Feelings about self worth are at stake.

I may have had direct experience of female sexuality in other incarnations but I won’t go into details about how it feels intimately here.

However I can say that between men and women the whole game of holding in or letting go is re enacted. Attraction and desire are powers, opportunities to play games. If one can’t help running… the other will make them run. If one can’t let go and become vulnerable, the other won’t open up.

 

Sexuality is emotional intimacy. If we were all innocent, free from anything we would rather hide, being partners would be the simplest and happiest thing in the world. But once Venus attracted and glued two humans to each other, a man and a woman (in most cases) join, not only their very valued sides, but the whole of themselves… How will they deal with the complicity of their shadows? Egos may have to die…

 

From birth to death we need to find just the right balance of holding in and letting go, of controlling and going with the flow. It’s important like life and death, like a night of love worth remembering forever, like living proudly with all our shit together.

And of course, we don’t have it all together, hence all the drama.

 

Jean-Marc

http://jeanmarcpierson.com